Early August: caseworker advises that mother would like to set up a visit and asks me to contact the mother. I call on 8/6 and 8/7 with no response; but call the caseworker to advise and within 20 minutes the mother calls back.

We arrange to visit at Barnes and Noble book store on Saturday 8/9 although Cookie isn’t feeling well. Baby is clearly not well and clingy. This is her first illness since reunification. She doesn’t appear to remember us (studying my face when I attempt to hold her) and taking comfort in her mother. Mother notes that the biological father’s parents came from their country to see Cookie and did not give the mother any money nor buy a new carseat for Cookie (there was nothing wrong with the existing carseat). The visit is short. Later in the day the mother calls me because Cookie is running a fever and she’s uncertain how to handle it. I advise her that is sounds like teething and instruct her on when to get medical attention.

Mother texts again while we are on vacation and then again while the family was sick (in mid and late August). I respond each time to let her know these things.

August 26, caseworker calls with concerns about the reunification based on a scheduled visit and the baby sleeping during the visit. She feels the mother should know the child’s schedule at this point well enough to know when she’ll nap. Caseworker knows that we visited recently and asks for feedback. I advise that when the caseworker saw Cookie, the baby was teething and the mother had put Cookie in daycare the week before the caseworker had made her visit. Knowing that Cookie refuses to sleep anywhere other than her own bed, I told the caseworker that Cookie’s move to daycare would likely throw off her sleep habits until she adjusted and that the mother couldn’t possibly know when she would finally sleep as a result; but advise her to check again in 2-3 weeks to be sure that this is not still an issue. Caseworker seems relieved to know there is a logical explanation for the things causing concern and thanks me for the call.

Mother notes that she was in the hospital on 8/29 but not why.

We saw Cookie right before we went on vacation. Long story, but we met in a bookstore. Cookie wasn't feeling well--teething; but mom came anyway. It was a LITTLE weird, but not horrible. It was just a few days after her first birthday.

She looked SO DIFFERENT.

When I went to hold her, she studied me. She clearly didn't remember who I was and immediately looked to her mom as if to ask if it was alright. In her discomfort, she clearly took comfort in her mother. It was good... for all of us. I think it helped us to really cement that she was not ours and wasn't aching for us like we ached for her. She didn't miss us--and it was such a good thing. By the same token, I think her mom needed the reassurance that there was no lingering thought in Cookie's mind about "another mommy".

Cookie looked good. Really good. Even the back of her ears were cleared up. She had curls now and the entire shape of her face was different. Three months... who would've thought.

We went to Baltimore, NC and then VA Beach on the return trip. I attended a Homeschooling Special Needs conference in Cary, NC that was really wonderful. And CHEAP! We got to meet another foster parent that is on the message boards with me; and we got to check the area out for relocation. We finally settled on one town and a backup town. We also decided to try to sell the house word-of-mouth first. We'll give word-of-mouth until October 1st and then actually list it.

Once we're under contract, we can go down and buy a home in NC. Special ed there sucks for sure, but for the difference in property taxes alone we can hire private therapists for Graham. We should get him re-evaluated just to be sure we know what we need and to update his diagnosis (or remove it).

That's the direction we're moving in anyway...

We notified CPS that we would open up next Friday (the Friday going into Labor Day weekend) but they already called us with a placement. Of course, they called at 2pm and I didn't return the call until 5:15pm--so they were placed. That's fine. We need to stick to one infant and not get caught up in helping them out vs. handling what we decided was best for US. But it's hard...