We flew back to Texas yesterday and I came home early today. It was every bit as easy as the trip out. Cookie is high needs, but really--a very good child. She just has insecurities that might make someone who is not really committed to her very frustrated. Thankfully, we are. And her current foster parents are, too. They offered to come pick her up at the airport (a nearly 3 hour drive one-way) to save me from having to do it only to turn around and drive back (plus pay for a rental car).

It's a huge worry off of our shoulders that her foster parents missed her so much. We worried that with Cookie being so high needs that they might be relieved to "have their life back" so-to-speak... but they really weren't. I think if they had, we'd have worried about how their patience might be with her upon her return. It's a huge blessing. In fact, Cookie being gone from them really opened their eyes to a lot of ways that she impacts their lives and how accustomed they are to her being there. We had asked them from VERY early on if they would adopt her (because we were focused on keeping her out of mom's sole custody more than having her in our home) and they had said they truly were not in this to adopt. Of course, they hadn't had her very long, either. But I think at this point they are so well bonded to her that it's worth asking them again. They've been nothing but supportive, and they've said before that if we COULDN'T or WOULDN'T take her with us and she was going to go to a stranger--they WOULD keep her with them. But they were always very much "for" our having her with us. I think it's something I will ask them again at the next court date when I see them in person. They have always been about what's best for her, and we all know that disrupting her from a loving home that she IDENTIFIES as home is NOT what's best for her.

And on the way to the airport, Mike shared with me some of his thoughts. He said that it was kind of cute to hear her call us "mommy" and "daddy" all the time; but that it made him incredibly sad and hurt that those are interchangeable terms to her--that they don't hold a special and sacred place in her heart. They're just "what you call the person who takes care of you most". OMG, when he said that my eyes started swelling.

This beautiful child. This very beautiful little girl who has endured so much in her little life. We love her so much. We just want this to end.