Mother and I attend an evaluation from a developmental pediatrician. The night before the evaluation, I e-mail the mother to assure her that she is the baby’s mother and therefore she should just look at it as if I was there to help her and nothing else. I also assure her that none of the medical professionals involved in the baby’s care have made any kind of negative judgment about the drug exposure, the foster care situation or the mother (she had expressed concern about this); and that since I have been through evaluations like this, that if I believe what they are saying to be far-fetched, I will advocate for a second opinion.

At the evaluation, I allow the mother to take the lead and only answer questions when I know she either looks to me or goes silent and assumes I will answer--but allowing her to be "mom" and me to be "caretaker". Dr. notes things already known about her delays and finds the baby’s prognosis to be good although he notes she is likely to be bipolar. He expresses agreement with delaying additional Early Intervention time for cognitive delays.

A transport worker who had proven to be troublesome for this mother in making false statements to CPS and myself about the mother did the mother’s transport for this evaluation and reported strange behavior after the evaluation. The caseworker calls me to understand the mother’s behavior during the evaluation. I tell the caseworker that I have been in the mother’s shoes with my own biological child for the exact same evaluations (albeit different causes of problems) and have behaved much like this mother did; and went on to explain the emotions involved. Caseworker is satisfied and mother gets her first unsupervised visit on 4/9. I send the mother my cell phone number in case she has any questions.

On 4/16 baby returns from a visit acting strange with disrupted sleep and a fit of inconsolable screaming even though she is not breaking a tooth (and not doing her typical teething things). Mother has been out of touch all afternoon and doesn’t respond to give a feeding/sleeping update—which is out of character for her. CPS advises that Cookie’s grandmother is unhappy here and Cookie’s mothers work hours are so few that the grandmother is supporting them. Grandmother is also a waitress.

In another e-mail, I update her on my sister-in-law who had exited rehab in February (the mother had been asking in January).

Mother goes to her first “commitment” at local mental health facility. This is somehow related to sobriety and she is nervous about speaking.

At this point, there are no more e-mails between the mother and I; but there proceed to be some phone calls