The judge granted our motion to intervene. Cookie’s mom didn’t show up for court because she had been in a car accident Friday and the hospital was holding her until a bed opened up in the public/free psychiatric hospital because she was self-admitting herself there. Here we go again. The caseworker later told me that it was likely because they were requiring her to go back on her psych meds and that going this route would get her the meds sooner rather than later—it would just be easier this way.

There was some question about whether or not the judge would grant our motion because I couldn’t give testimony without the birthmother there to participate in the cross-examination (via advising her lawyer about things that I said). But it would appear that the testimony is more relevant to custody vs. being party to the case. Intervenor status makes us party to the case. We still have to fight for custody. When our lawyer told the judge that intervenor status was what we wanted, the CPS attorney spoke up in support of the motion and Cookie’s lawyer stated her support as well. The judge looked at the mother’s lawyer and said “I suppose you’re required to object” and the lawyer said that he was. The judge said “So noted,” and proced to grant the motion.

I quickly got in my lawyer’s ear to ask for a visit and the judge had no problem with it if the foster parents were willing to accommodate it—and they said they would. The judge thanked them for being so flexible and cooperative (as did I).

But when the hearing ended, the foster parents flew out of the building. The CPS supervisor ran to catch up with them. The caseworker and I followed, but when the caseworker saw the supervisor arguing with the foster parents—she held us back and talked to me. As a result, I could hear raised voices but I couldn’t tell what it was about. It’s hard to understand. They’ve made it clear their goal is whatever is in Cookie’s best interest. They were vague about whether they’d be willing to adopt Cookie—even hinting that they’d rather not. I’m not sure what the whole issue is. Then again, maybe I'm making myself out to be more important than I am and their issue has nothing to do with me and I'm just being paranoid. After all, they agreed to accommodate a last minute visit.

I told the caseworker that we (my husband and I) hated being in this position—that this is NOT what we wanted to be doing and that we really just hated the whole thing; but that we want to make sure Cookie doesn’t bounce in and out of foster care until she’s 5yo and someone sees this pattern with her mother—and then she’s suffered so much in the meantime that she’s a difficult adoptive placement. The caseworker tried to explain to me that the confines of the law in their state meant mom had to be given a chance. I told her I truly understood that, but that I wanted her to understand that our goal wasn’t to “get Cookie back”—it was her longterm safety. I didn’t want her to think that we just wanted her back regardless. We knew her mother could work the plan. That was the problem.

The caseworker had a really hard time looking me in the eye. So there’s clearly more going on that I don’t know about.

But we won the first round of the process.