And again, I feel horrible about it.

The baby's caseworker calls this morning for an update. She's not in today so she didn't get the e-mail I sent. I tell her. I also tell her that if the mother were unable to complete her plan and there were no suitable relatives for placement, we'd be interested in the baby. She figured--since most foster parents that take newborns are.

She tells me the maternal grandmother won't be able to make it here on Wednesday as previously planned. Something went wrong with her house sale. She should be here by late August. I ask if the grandmother looks promising--knowing all the background work wasn't complete yet. The caseworker said there was one red flag that needed to be looked into further--so at this point, it was unknown as to whether it would be an issue. They can't tell me specifics and that's fine--it's not really my business. But I appreciate her telling me what she can in terms of progress.

The baby came back from her first visit with mom and everything was in her bag just as it had left... plus a picture of mom (and dad I assume?) and a tiny teddy bear. The pictures I sent for her were still in the bag. I think she may not have seen them because I'm sure she'd have taken them. She asked the transport worker about me--worried about who her baby was with and the transport said I seemed nice and concerned for the baby. She pointed out that I was willing to e-mail the mother. It doesn't matter. This woman must be completely frantic about her baby being with strangers. I know they're in this position for a reason, but I feel her panic for her--and it concerns me about her ability to focus on her own issues that need to be tended to so that she can get her baby back. I hope that by allowing her to e-mail me (through an anonymous account) that she will feel SOMEwhat more at ease and able to take care of herself. Suddenly, I find myself overwhelmed with wanting to help this family reunite.

So I will put the picture and the teddy bear in the baby's cradle, and see if I can drop the pictures off at the DYFS office for the county so she can pick them up. I feel badly that she didn't get them. I know she's aching for them.