... and what a relief THAT is. We're okay. We're not crying all the time. I don't swell every time I come across something that reminds me of her. Matt and I are able to talk about her without it become cry-fest. Honestly, her first overnight away (4 days and 3 nights) was much worse. It was Mother's Day weekend, but really--the holiday didn't make it any better or worse. It was just her being away from us and the reality of her going home and not knowing if mom would stay on track. That was a really hard weekend. I even cried when she came home.

But we're okay now. We're both a little surprised by it, too.

I'm working on inventorying the baby and kids clothing. I'm going to toss anything I wouldn't put on a child going out of this house. I'm going to eBay the stuff that I know I will probably never use and still has tags. Then I'm going to sort the rest by size, gender (or gender-neutral) and season (just hot and cold). I'm going to note it on a sheet and then I'll know what I have and what I don't if need be.

I'm sure at some point, I'm going to give up and get rid of ALL of it; but I don't feel like it's time yet. I'm certainly getting rid of some of it, though.

It's hard to know what to do with the bedrooms. We're going to proceed with meeting our adoptive match a few times. We've also decided that if she doesn't fit with us (or we don't fit with her) that we're going to take the summer off, and then go back to fostering infants. Since Cookie's departure hasn't sent us to our beds crying for days on end, we know we could do it again. So I hesitate to change Cookie's room into the playroom in case our match works out... because then it would be her room.

We should meet her next week (hopefully) or the week after (at the latest). I'm a little nervous about it. I feel like the fact that I'm so mentally prepared to have the summer with JUST Graham will mean that the match will work! LOL! Isn't that always the way?